28 November 2011

Self-Help Books. Written Just for Me.

My friend Melissa just made the gigantic mistake of alerting me to the existence of... Snark Handbooks. Oh. My. God. With titles including Snark! The Herald Angels Sing: Sarcasm, Bitterness, and the Holiday SeasonI. must. own. all. these. books.

They're like... manuals on how to be me. And God knows, I need help with that.

Wonder if Kickstarter would let me have a fund set up to get the series? If I tell them that I really need a series of self-help books on how to be a bitchier bitch? That not having them is keeping me from reaching my full potential as the Impressaria of Innuendo, a Virtuoso of Verbal Attack? I have my doubts since they refused to help The Bloggess to get a taxidermied wolf pelt to wear to the première of Twilight: Breaking Dawn, Part One. I mean, she got Wolf Blitzer in the end, but not because Kickstarter wanted to help. Fools.

There's a lot going on over the next month... and I will no doubt find a lot about which to be snarky. Not in a totally Grinchy way, but in a way that reminds good Episcopalians everywhere of the Eleventh Commandment...

Thou shalt not be tacky.

Forget that rule at your peril, because if you do, you'll find your transgressions catalogued in a blog entry here. If you help me to be snarky by participating in an event that brings it on, or if your own snarky comment makes me snort, you'll find yourself here too. It's like separating the sheep and the goats. And We All Like Sheep. Baaa.

1 comment:

  1. It's almost like I'm your personal librarian... :)